if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
