Please, let me fuck your mom
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
