There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize