sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
