I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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