I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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