Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
