I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize