oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
