i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
