He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
