k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
