Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize