I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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