it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
