On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
