Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
