R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize