i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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