I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
