spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
