He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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