i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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