By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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