I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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