i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
