Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
