Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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