dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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