He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
