as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
