i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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