This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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