She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
