doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
