can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
