we're blogging at a bar
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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