he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
