Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
