I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
