How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize