I think my vagina is haunted
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
