I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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