Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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