Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just had sex bonerless
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
