You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize