I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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