i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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