You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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