I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
