I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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