i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
