i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
