um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
