My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
