found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
