Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
