ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm both gender and math confused
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize