people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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