some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
