I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
