On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
