my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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