My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize