I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
