He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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