I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
