you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
