They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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