Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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(573): View more from Missouri

Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.

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(954): View more from Florida

stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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(425): View more from Washington

And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.

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