So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize