you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
