we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
