dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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