oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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