don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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