Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
