I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
