Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
