i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
